Musings

Shelby. 21. Married. Psychology BA. I enjoy things that make me laugh until I cry. Want to know more - just ask.
My other blog:
countingxthexdays

tardis-mind-palace:

ineffablyserpentine:

my english teacher used to collect street signs until her students began to steal them for her

like they stole a street sign 

that said the street name

they also stole a stop sign in front of this loop in front of my school

and all 100 kids were like stealing signs

my english teacher was the head of a crime ring

I bet the principal didn’t want to believe it…

even though all the signs were there

dendropsyche:

Oh, wait, you said ”SEND NUDES”? I thought you said “SEND NUKES” hahaha whoops uh i guess you should evacuate your city or something

spongyspice:

we all have a person who’s name we hear and we just

image

quincyjesuslovesyou:

lily-march:

sallyintheskywithdiamonds:

ketamineprojection:

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SOMEONE TELL ME WHO THIS GUY IS

RUSSELL HOWARD

image

image

image

image

image

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Russell Howard is a national treasure.

Russel Howard for Prime Minister

(Source: katiebishop)

ponies-n-things:

disswasher:

"You’re so shy, you should open up more!"

image

jESUS H FUCK

(Source: trances)

melongorl:

WHAT

(Source: rarexcandy)

vegetarain:

ultrannoying:

nice legs daisy dukes makes a mango doot doot

image

(Source: 6gay)

sherlocksmyth:

sherlocksmyth:

one time my religion teacher who has a monobrow asked me “what the hell did you do to your hair?” because i had a blonde streak through it and i said “what the hell did you do to your eyebrow” and he sent me outside

when i came back in he asked everyone what monotheism was and i said it meant a religion that worshiped one god because mono means one as in monobrow and he sent me out again

(Source: marvelcolm)

follovved:

buttlicked:

follovved:

buttlicked:

follovved:

KNOCK KNOCK

WHOS THERE

LIL OLE’ LADY

LIL OLE’ LADY WHO

I DIDNT KNOW U COULD YODEL

(Source: straighthater)

untilyourbreathingst0ps:

pearls:

pearls:

i touched a dick once and it was the scariest thing in my life because it had a really cold head and i don’t know it wasn’t fun

sometimes the ‘i’ and ‘u’ shouldn’t be so close on the keyboard 

ive seen this post umpteen times and ive always thought that if you switched u and i around it wouldn’t make sense like “u touched a” and i literally just realised you meant duck and not dick i swear to god i am the biggest fucking idiot.

(Source: gingerbreadlou)

corgisandboobs:

The only ice bucket challenge you’ll ever need.

TotallyLayouts has Tumblr Themes, Twitter Backgrounds, Facebook Covers, Tumblr Music Player and Tumblr Follower Counter

tardis-mind-palace:

ineffablyserpentine:

my english teacher used to collect street signs until her students began to steal them for her

like they stole a street sign 

that said the street name

they also stole a stop sign in front of this loop in front of my school

and all 100 kids were like stealing signs

my english teacher was the head of a crime ring

I bet the principal didn’t want to believe it…

even though all the signs were there

Via pizza ✌

dendropsyche:

Oh, wait, you said ”SEND NUDES”? I thought you said “SEND NUKES” hahaha whoops uh i guess you should evacuate your city or something

spongyspice:

we all have a person who’s name we hear and we just

image

quincyjesuslovesyou:

lily-march:

sallyintheskywithdiamonds:

ketamineprojection:

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SOMEONE TELL ME WHO THIS GUY IS

RUSSELL HOWARD

image

image

image

image

image

image

Russell Howard is a national treasure.

Russel Howard for Prime Minister

(Source: katiebishop)

ponies-n-things:

disswasher:

"You’re so shy, you should open up more!"

image

jESUS H FUCK

(Source: trances)

melongorl:

WHAT

(Source: rarexcandy)

vegetarain:

ultrannoying:

nice legs daisy dukes makes a mango doot doot

image

(Source: 6gay)

Life without @markgundling is full of disappointing frozen pizzas.

Life without @markgundling is full of disappointing frozen pizzas.

sherlocksmyth:

sherlocksmyth:

one time my religion teacher who has a monobrow asked me “what the hell did you do to your hair?” because i had a blonde streak through it and i said “what the hell did you do to your eyebrow” and he sent me outside

when i came back in he asked everyone what monotheism was and i said it meant a religion that worshiped one god because mono means one as in monobrow and he sent me out again

(Source: marvelcolm)

Via

follovved:

buttlicked:

follovved:

buttlicked:

follovved:

KNOCK KNOCK

WHOS THERE

LIL OLE’ LADY

LIL OLE’ LADY WHO

I DIDNT KNOW U COULD YODEL

(Source: straighthater)

untilyourbreathingst0ps:

pearls:

pearls:

i touched a dick once and it was the scariest thing in my life because it had a really cold head and i don’t know it wasn’t fun

sometimes the ‘i’ and ‘u’ shouldn’t be so close on the keyboard 

ive seen this post umpteen times and ive always thought that if you switched u and i around it wouldn’t make sense like “u touched a” and i literally just realised you meant duck and not dick i swear to god i am the biggest fucking idiot.

(Source: gingerbreadlou)

corgisandboobs:

The only ice bucket challenge you’ll ever need.

lameborghini:

lameborghini:

my physics teacher loves april fools day

i told him that his joke got 90 thousand notes on the internet and he was like “wow!! 90 thousand people think im funny” (he always makes bad jokes in class and no one laughs) and he was smiling really big it was so cute

lameborghini:

lameborghini:

my physics teacher loves april fools day

i told him that his joke got 90 thousand notes on the internet and he was like “wow!! 90 thousand people think im funny” (he always makes bad jokes in class and no one laughs) and he was smiling really big it was so cute