If you’re under the impression that this is an ordinary, run-of-the-mill, no one out of the ordinary 18th century woman then you are wrong.
This is Nancy Morgan Hart and she isn’t having any of your shit.
When she wasn’t being a loving mother, a devoted wife, and making her well liked apple pies she was doing shit like beating the British.
You want to know a story about her? She lived in some cabin in Georgia and her kid said they saw a British soldier peeking through a crack. She’d been cleaning and she stopped, got the fuck up, and put some boiling water into a ladle. She then flung that boiling water through the crack. You want to know something else? She heard a blood curdling scream of pain afterward. Without even giving a damn and a half she just went back to whatever the fuck household chore she was doing.
Want to hear another story? There was this time she held a handful of British soldiers with a single gun ON HER FUCKING OWN. Her husband had gone to fight that whole Revolutionary War thing so she was at home minding her own business. Some soldier asks her if she’d seen anything and she said she hadn’t. This wasn’t a satisfactory answer and he assumed she was lying. As a result he shot her best turkey and then demanded her to cook it. She did just that. She made that goddamned turkey for them and I’m sure it was very fucking delicious. At the same time she sneaked in liquor in their meal and by the end of it these redcoats were plastered. She was also like forty more steps ahead of them by taking their guns.
So anyway she proceeds to hold these drunk soldiers at bay ON HER OWN. And she wasn’t a dainty little shit either. Oh no. She was over 6 feet tall, she lived in the wilderness, she’d had small pox and she was. not fucking around.
And she doesn’t hold them there for a couple of minutes, she holds them there for a few hours until her husband and some other men came to help. Her husband just wanted to shoot them. Nancy wanted them to hang. Thus those soldiers proceeded to be hanged.
What have you done today?