my english teacher used to collect street signs until her students began to steal them for her
like they stole a street sign
that said the street name
they also stole a stop sign in front of this loop in front of my school
and all 100 kids were like stealing signs
my english teacher was the head of a crime ring
I bet the principal didn’t want to believe it…
even though all the signs were there
Oh, wait, you said ”SEND NUDES”? I thought you said “SEND NUKES” hahaha whoops uh i guess you should evacuate your city or something
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SOMEONE TELL ME WHO THIS GUY IS
Russell Howard is a national treasure.
Russel Howard for Prime Minister
"You’re so shy, you should open up more!"
jESUS H FUCK
one time my religion teacher who has a monobrow asked me “what the hell did you do to your hair?” because i had a blonde streak through it and i said “what the hell did you do to your eyebrow” and he sent me outside
when i came back in he asked everyone what monotheism was and i said it meant a religion that worshiped one god because mono means one as in monobrow and he sent me out again
LIL OLE’ LADY
LIL OLE’ LADY WHO
I DIDNT KNOW U COULD YODEL
i touched a dick once and it was the scariest thing in my life because it had a really cold head and i don’t know it wasn’t fun
sometimes the ‘i’ and ‘u’ shouldn’t be so close on the keyboard
ive seen this post umpteen times and ive always thought that if you switched u and i around it wouldn’t make sense like “u touched a” and i literally just realised you meant duck and not dick i swear to god i am the biggest fucking idiot.